random thoughts of a single mama

being a single mama came to me as the biggest shocker so far in my life.  it has exhausted me to the near end . . . or so i feel.  it has reminded me of friends . . . in the masses.  thank you Lord.  it has challenged me spiritually, emotionally, parentally (is that a word?  it is now!)  it has left me without my best friend.  it has caused me to feel cheated on life.  on the other hand, it has strengthened my relationship with God ~ WHEN i allow Him.  it causes me to question lots.  it has shown me how strong & independent i can be if/when necessary.  it has taught me about unconditional love for *my man* and our boys.  it has caused me to really seek joy & experience it.  it has helped me to slow down & enjoy the memory making time and other days it has made me want to speed up through this yucky season.  it has allowed me to see & bask in God's provision & beauty.  it has caused me to experience how un-fun it is to cook healthy meals for my family . . . way more enjoyable to look for "kids eat free" restaurants.  (this is not healthy = weight gain)  it has taught me so much about forgiveness, healing, & being content right where i am.  it has made the boys' arguments seem way worse than they really may be.  life brings A LOT of unexpected . . . good & bad.  despite the way it may end, i will not regret the fight i put up to save our marriage.