Sunday, August 14, 2011

random thoughts of a single mama

being a single mama came to me as the biggest shocker so far in my life.  it has exhausted me to the near end . . . or so i feel.  it has reminded me of friends . . . in the masses.  thank you Lord.  it has challenged me spiritually, emotionally, parentally (is that a word?  it is now!)  it has left me without my best friend.  it has caused me to feel cheated on life.  on the other hand, it has strengthened my relationship with God ~ WHEN i allow Him.  it causes me to question lots.  it has shown me how strong & independent i can be if/when necessary.  it has taught me about unconditional love for *my man* and our boys.  it has caused me to really seek joy & experience it.  it has helped me to slow down & enjoy the memory making time and other days it has made me want to speed up through this yucky season.  it has allowed me to see & bask in God's provision & beauty.  it has caused me to experience how un-fun it is to cook healthy meals for my family . . . way more enjoyable to look for "kids eat free" restaurants.  (this is not healthy = weight gain)  it has taught me so much about forgiveness, healing, & being content right where i am.  it has made the boys' arguments seem way worse than they really may be.  life brings A LOT of unexpected . . . good & bad.  despite the way it may end, i will not regret the fight i put up to save our marriage.


mama b said...

ohhh regina, i could not love your heart more if i tried! the thing i think i love the most about your heart right now is that you COULD think and behave have every right! but you're making such hard and BRAVE choices for you, jm, and your sweet boys. this is making Jesus look so awesome!! i hope you see that! this matters to more than just you 4 skammers. you are making an impact on how Jesus looks to the world. you are showing your friends and your loved ones that Jesus is good and faithful and worth following even when it sucks sucks sucks. and it really does suck! but you remind us through your actions that you couldn't possibly survive this if it wasn't for His extravagant grace and love, and because of that He is being magnified. i love you!!! i love our Jesus.

The Saunderses said...

I love you Regina and I continue to be amazed at your strength, trust in God, and daily decisions to seek joy and share it with others.